1.) Face the real issues (Gal 5:13-26)
Can you admit to having a spirit of anger?
Do you really want to live as God desires? Do you want self-control?
Do you want to love others?
We must accept the fact of our anger. Ask those around you if they sense a spirit of anger in you. Acknowledgment is the first step of overcoming anger. Why? Our pride does not make it easy to say that we were wrong in our actions, words and judgments.
Do I really want to live out God's love in my life?
2. ) Deal with your anger (Jam 1:19-20)
Unresolved anger is always bad. I must not tolerate it. We must acknowledge that man's anger will not accomplish God's work.
3.) Die to self; live by Christ (Galatians 2:20)
I have died to myself. I now live for Jesus Christ. An open and deliberate decision not to live according to your old life and consciously to allow Christ to live out His life in you, is a special and necessary part of deliverance from anger. When this is done, you open yourself to Christ's full work in your life. There seems to be two aspects to dying to self. There is the initial dedication period which is like starting anew. There is also the regular daily dying to self - a daily morning prayer were we commit ourselves to the Lord.
4.) Break the stronghold of anger (2 Corinthians 10:3-7 )
May God destroy every last lie of mine! A stronghold is some hidden sin from our lives that we have given up hope on overcoming. We probably have tried to overcome anger in the past. Failure brings with it a disheartening and final cover up of our sin.
Truth, however, gives strength and confidence to do what is right. Lies block out the light and therefore strip us of any confidence in overcoming a certain problem.
From the verses quoted here and the many places exhorting us to deal gently with people rather than in anger, we are clearly responsible and able through Christ to overcome this stronghold of anger.
What common lies minimize the problem of anger and therefore prevent us from overcoming anger? Our common excuses;
"They deserve it." "I was so hurt by them. I need to get back." "I can't help it." "I was always that way." "My parents were that way." "It's not too bad." "My anger is better than before."
Hope comes when we are broken before God over our sin and welcome Him to overcome the sin in our lives. More than often our pride minimizes our anger's wrong and makes exceptions and excuses for our anger.
5.) Replace anger with acts of kindness (Ephesians 4:31)
Anger must go, but I will replace it with fruits of love. Peace and fullness of love will not be activated unless we replace our angry spirit with a loving spirit. We must not focus on what we should not do but on what we should do. Be practical. Write down a few things you can do for that friend you have wounded (or has wounded you).
Regulate your conversation by polite statements and well-intentioned motives. For example, I will not interrupt another. I will wait for them to finish what they are saying before I speak.
6.) Fully deal with each day's anger (Eph 4:26)
Make sure before I go to bed, I deal with my anger. Unresolved anger turns into wrath. We have a command from the Lord to heighten the importance of settling quarrel before we sleep.
Have you and your spouse made a commitment to resolve anger before going to bed?
As a parent, have you committed yourself to make peace with your children before they sleep?
